Adoption: The Waiting is Hard!
If you’re new to our adoption story, you can read about the beginning of our journey here – our home study, when we went active, as well as what it looks like to say YES to cases:
We’ve already shared a little bit about the waiting:
and have put together a Q & A that includes the most frequently asked adoption questions we receive.
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Most recently, we shared with you that we had been in the process of updating our paperwork.
As far as working with our consultants, keeping our home study up to date, these updates have renewed everything for us to stay active for another year.
When we officially began this process last summer, we knew we already felt comfortable with the idea of renewing at the one year mark if we had not yet matched.
So that’s what we did!
In some ways, this last year or so has gone quickly. Our lives are full and busy with many other things.
In some ways, though, it feels like we’ve been in this process for an eternity…with no idea what’s going to happen.
Honestly, at times, the most recent months have felt long and somewhat discouraging.
Sure, the Not yet. emails can feel a little disappointing, but usually we feel excited for the family that is celebrating. We truly believe that God is working in the details, and we trust His sovereignty as He places these children with the families He has chosen.
For us, the most difficult days are the ones when we don’t see a case come through to our inbox. For lack of a better way to describe it, it’s feast or famine.
Right after we finished renewing our paperwork, we had several days where we felt like we were constantly receiving cases. We had so many outstanding YES responses on the table we had started to lose track! Those were exciting, hope-filled days. Then we went several days after that and did not receive a single case.
The ups and downs of that currently reality for us feel a little wild sometimes.
There is truly no separation from our phones, and when a case hits our inbox, it’s go time!
We typically stop everything to read the case! We work through a decision, draft a letter to the expectant mama, and submit our response/letter to our consultant.
It is a heavy process, but also exciting in ways. Sometimes the response window is tight. Those situations are the most exciting to me as it typically involves a case where the baby has already arrived.
But no matter the situation, then the waiting starts all over again. The wondering feels nearly painful sometimes…
…wondering when the mama will actually see your profile…if she’ll ever get to yours in the stack.
…curious how long it will take her to make a decision…though you understand it’s best she takes as long as she needs.
You feel heartbroken for the situation you’ve read about, but excited for the possibility of welcoming a new little one into your home.
You’re scared of being heartbroken, but worried about the heartbreak of the birth family and their child.
It’s a lot. It really is a lot.
At the beginning, we would share with close family and friends every time we had said YES to a situation.
As you can imagine, that started to get complicated. It required a follow-up to each person as we received those Not yet. responses each time.
Our loved ones are so sweet to be willing to ride the rollercoaster with us, but we eventually decided to spare them the daily updates.
God love ’em for loving us, but it had to be getting exhausting. ha!
One day a few weeks ago a text to my friend said, “We’re waiting to hear back on five babies right now!”
That’s what the updates look like these days, but we have promised we will let them all know RIGHT AWAY if and when we match with a birth family! Same goes for you guys here, too – we promise!
Most days we roll with the waiting, but it’s just felt a little harder here lately.
This post may feel a little more heavy than our adoption updates usually do, but honestly, we’re feeling pretty weary in the process in the moment.
We are currently waiting to hear updates on two different situations.
Will you pray for our hearts?
God has given us so much peace along the way. We sense His presence and consistently feel His comfort and the encouragement to trust Him.
We are so grateful for that, and we would be so appreciative if you would continue to pray for us. Please pray that we would continue to lean into Him for everything we need right now.
Each night we pray together as a family that God would use us in whatever way He has planned for our family, and we know He will.
Adoption: You-Tube Videos You Might Enjoy
If you would like to see a video-version of what this match process looks like, check out my friend Angela’s video. It will give you a glimpse into what working with adoption consultants looks like.
Angela is fantastic at educating others about adoption – she herself has adopted domestically and internationally! So if you have questions, I think you would really enjoy watching her YouTube videos!
If you’re a hopeful adoptive family who has experienced a failed match, you may find this video of hers encouraging. While sharing their family’s story, she also provides a lot of helpful information – a peek into the complicated realities of this process.
I love you, friends. Thank you for being here and loving our family so well.
God bless you guys. I think you explained your feelings about the process as of now so very well. I can imagine how difficult and at times, quite discouraging that the whole thing can be. I am sure if one thing…and that is that God is right there in the midst of it all and most certainly will deliver the answer you guys are so eager to hear in His perfect timing. It is a timing that not one of us is meant to understand fully. That is where our faith comes into play and there are times that, while faithful, we still are human and we still feel the feelings of discouragement and even worse feelings. Trust in Him as you already are doing so well and in due time, you will absolutely understand this waiting period and low feelings along the way. I know He has a perfect match for you and your family and I pray that you will get the answer youve been praying for for so long now. You have such a lovely family and you yourself are very much a lovely woman and momma and will be such a huge blessing to the little one that is blessed to become part of your beautiful family. In the meantime, I will continue praying for you guys. Looking forward for the upcoming adoption updates as you post them. God bless you and yours💟
All of my children are grow, married with families of their own, but we did not have to go through what you did as far as the adoption process as our two children who were adopted were done privately, as so many of our friends did way back then. Things were very different going privately or going through an agency. We did not have a very long wait with either child, so it was a very fast, got the call., had to go shopping very fast (for the first child, a boy)for a crib, etc. as we were bringing him home from the hospital within 3 days. Our daughter who was also adopted, was the 3 rd child and was also brought home from the hospital when she was 3 days old. Things varied according to the state you lived in where you were adopting from. & how long you had to wait to finalize the adoption. So many changes have been made over the years. Adoptions back then were all closed, where today adoptions are open, birth mothers are involved with seeing the child they gave up. etc. Here’s hoping your family continues to grow.