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The Most Heartbreaking Post I Have Ever Written

January 15, 2016

I had seen it…

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…every once in a while, I would catch a glimpse of it.

I didn’t really think much of it at the time…

…but we have received confirmation that our little girl has Down Syndrome.

I can’t believe I just typed those words.

We are devastated…heartbroken in every way you can imagine…but we are holding to the truths we know.

We know God is good.

We know God is faithful.

We know God does not make mistakes.

We know God has gone before us in this.

We know God has a plan.

We know God’s plans are for our good and His glory…

…and while His plans for our sweet girl are unfolding in a very different way than we would have chosen for her life, we are trusting our Creator…and we ask for your prayers as we walk through the coming days.

We have felt the Father so close to us. Since the discussion of this possibility began, we have sensed His presence. From the very moment we heard the words “extra chromosome”, we have sensed Him holding us and carrying us in a way we can’t describe.

In the kindness of our doctor…

In the ways our loved ones have cared for us…

In the songs I’ve been able to sing…

In the Scriptures we have read over and over again…

In the strength of my husband…

In the hugs and kisses from our little boys…

In the smiles from our little girl,

We have seen Jesus.

Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart.”

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23 Comments

  1. Teresa Garner-Schabacker says:

    Or Creator did know Your baby Girl before she was born and He has big Big plans for Your very beautiful, amazing daughter. Please know prayers are with You and the doctors as they know what they are doing and everything will work out just like they’re supposed to. Hugs and Love to You, Mommy & Daddy and both Brothers to Darling Baby girl.

  2. I will be praying for you as you walk through this! I pray God comforts you as you grieve what you expected and embrace the path He has you on. I know and love some really amazing people with Down syndrome, and I know your daughter is and will be a light in this world! I look forward to following your journey, and I know it will be a beautiful one.

    1. thislittlehomeofmineblog@gmail.com says:

      Thank you so much, Jenny! Your words have encouraged me, and I so, so appreciate your prayers for our family!

  3. Prayers for you and your family. Your little girl will be the biggest blessing in your life. My youngest sister has down syndrome and she is the greatest joy in our family!

    1. thislittlehomeofmineblog@gmail.com says:

      Emily, thank you for sharing a little bit of your story with me! I would love to hear more about your family’s journey!!

  4. Brenda Cooper says:

    What a blessing! God is good! Down’s Syndrome children are a most precious gift from God. Loving, caring, sweet, and kind… I can not say enough good things about Down’s children. Will she troubles in life… Yes. Will she have health issues…Probably. Will she make you slow down and cherish every moment with her… Praise God, Yes. I believe that God gives us Down’s babies to teach us to slow diwn, enjoy life, and love continuously!!! Enjoy her for what she is, a truly awesome gift. May God bless you and your lovely family.

  5. Your sweet little girl will be beautiful and so, SO loved. His plans are always perfect, even if we can’t see that right away. Sending lots of prayers as you continue on this journey.

    1. thislittlehomeofmineblog@gmail.com says:

      Thank you, Joanna! Your prayers are so appreciated right now! Your kind words mean the world to me!
      XOXO,
      Elizabeth

  6. Liz, thank you for sharing your grief with us. I pray God’s comfort over you and that His peace will flood your soul. He’s got big plans for you, your family, and your baby girl.

  7. I’ve been following you for a while on Instagram and Facebook, but I don’t get much time to make the blog rounds. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. And, yes, it is a difficult time. I had a birth diagnosis with my 4th baby and the truth is, you have to grieve before you accept Down syndrome. That being said, we are nearly 2 1/2 years into this journey and I can’t even put into words how much joy our little boy has given us. I literally tear up when I try to explain how much he has touched our lives. He truly is a gift from God that we didn’t even know we needed or wanted. It’s okay to grieve and all of your feelings are completely normal. If you need anything, please feel free to email me. Even if it’s just to let out your emotions. If you haven’t connected with them yet, the Down Syndrome Diagnosis Network is a great place to start. I belong to several of their FB groups and I’m an admin for the 15/16 group. Your daughter is perfect and beautiful, and sometime, in the not too distant future, you will look back and wonder why you ever grieved in the first place. Sending my love to you and your beautiful family.

    1. thislittlehomeofmineblog@gmail.com says:

      Stefanie, thank you so much for reaching out to me! I am so enjoying following along with you and being a part of the Facebook group! What an encouragement you and your story have been to me! Much Love, Elizabeth

  8. I follow a beautiful blog called Enjoying the Small Things by Kelle Hampton. http://www.etst.com I bet you will find it encouraging.

      1. thislittlehomeofmineblog@gmail.com says:

        Thank you so much for sharing this with me, April! I am so excited to start following along with her!

  9. Oh, Elizabeth, I can imagine what a shock that must have been – I’m praying for you and your precious girl! God has very wonderful plans for your family and I can’t wait to see how he works through you in this!

  10. My youngest also has the “love” chromosome. This wee babe will bring you so much joy to your life but it’s hard to see in your sadness today. Her radiant beauty will soon be visible to you & knock your socks off!

  11. Prayers for comfort and acceptance as you learn to navigate this unplanned journey. There is a reason that God has chosen you as her parents. While this is never what anyone plans for, God did. Trust that there is a reason that will be shown to you. Your beautiful baby girl is going to do big things, and change you in ways you never thought possible!

  12. Hello, I don’t know you and have honestly never read your blog until today. I stumbled across this post today somehow. I am 31 years old. I homeschool my oldest 2 for kindergarten and pre-k. My husband is a pastor. Last April we learned that the baby growing in me would have Down syndrome. I too was debased and heart broken. I want to share two things dear friends shared with me who have older kids with Down syndrome. The first said, “I gasped in excitement for you when our friend told me.” And the second said, “in a year from now you will look back and smile.” They also gave me permission to grieve which I needed to hear that I wasn’t offending their children or my child by grieving my expectations. Now that Henry is 5 months I do already look back and smile. My husband said it best that he makes you feel like you are the most important person in the world. I guess I say all of this because I want to tell you congratulations. This is good news. Your daughter is exactly how God created her to be. I don’t want to be inconsiderate of how you feel right now either and want you to know you have the freedom to grieve, to be hurt, to be angry but I encourage to then get back to a place where you can praise God for His beautiful work. Praying for you as you embark on this adventure. Feel free to contact me via facebook messenger or my email. In christ, Jenny Schreiner.

    1. thislittlehomeofmineblog@gmail.com says:

      Jenny, your words have meant the world to me! Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out and share your story. “Your daughter is exactly how God created her to be.” – I love that! Yes! Much Love, Elizabeth

      1. It’s been a few months since your post, is it close to your due date? Have you picked out a name for your precious baby girl? I hope you are feeling well and pray you are drawing near to our Lord as you may continue to feel a vast array of emotions, as I did. If you don’t have anyone in your life with a little one with DS then please know I was sincere with suggesting we get in touch. If you can’t see my email address in the comments section then let me know and I will reply with it.

  13. Hi, I came across your post on instagram and I just wanted to say:

    Do not fear for your baby because:
    She will show the world bravery, she will teach the world perserverance
    She will show the world strength, she will teach the world courage
    She will show the world beauty, she will teach the world acceptance
    She will show the world kindness, she will teach the world love.

    Your daughter is an amazing and unique person, and her very wonderful DNA has something very special – it has something extra. That something extra is something very powerful that we mere average humans should stand in awe of. That beautiful extra piece is like a super power that can change minds and mold hearts into more than they could ever be without that influence. That one tiny little extra chromosome that God gave her means he gave her a power the rest of us lack, one that can impact lives and can touch others with understanding, grace, and truly unconditional love. DS is no disability, it is a super power that God knew we needed in this world, even if we didn’t know it.

    1. thislittlehomeofmineblog@gmail.com says:

      Amanda, thank you so much for your encouragement! I appreciate you taking the time to reach out to me!

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