I don’t want to give my motherhood away…

When I found out I was pregnant with my oldest, I knew my time teaching in the classroom was coming to an end.

I was being called to a new adventure – nurturing this little one that God was gifting our family.

Saying goodbye to teaching was bittersweet with my joy over becoming a mom overshadowing any sadness I felt. Those two little lines on that stick? I had prayed for them, and I was so, so excited to become a mom.

Those first moments of holding my baby…they were a dream.

Those first days of being home with my new little bundle…I loved every second.

But then days turned in to months…and now I’m five years in to this whole thing.

There are moments that are still dreamy…if I take the time to notice them.

There are days where I love every second…if I’m prayed up and walkin’ in the Spirit (embracing a right attitude and a hot cup of coffee).

But there are also days that don’t feel so dreamy…There are days when I don’t love every second…There are days when I give my motherhood away.

Sometimes I give my motherhood away to guilt. I should have done this. or I should have done that. Is this really what’s best for my child? and Have I made the right decision about _______?

Some days, I allow fear to steal my motherhood. Are they going to get hurt? Are they going to get sick? What could this decision mean for their future? 

There are times when I struggle with anger and frustration. I never seemed to struggle in these areas before I became a mom…but this can be a challenge for many of us. Anyone else out there? Be honest.

Other days, I allow discontentment to creep in…and oh, how social media can feed this thief! I wish I could do this. or I wish I could do that. I wish I looked like that. or I wish my minivan was that clean.

2 Timothy 1:7: “He does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and a sound mind.”

And while we’re talking about technology, there are moments…sometimes hours, when we allow technology to steal the gift of being mommy to our little ones. While technology can be an amazing tool to use in countless positive ways, we have to take the time to consider: When we get to the end of the day, how much time have we spend on our devices? and How much time have we spent looking in to the eyes of those little gifts that God gave us?

Then there are our chores…and our hobbies…and our work-from-home adventures. Yes, the towels need folded and the toilets need swabbed. Yes, it’s important that we create time to nurture our creative interests. Yes, there are so many amazing work-from-home opportunities available to full-time mommies. However, if we’re not careful, these things can creep in to the #1 priority spot – and before we know it, those little ones that we’ve been called to nurture get pushed to the side while we focus on other things. As a blogger, this is something I have to consistently be mindful of – Blogging is something I enjoy doing, but if I were to let it, it could consume my every waking moment. As this space has grown, I have had to be intentional about making sure that blogging tasks are saved for when my children are sleeping – naptime, quiet time, and bedtime…those are the times when you’ll find me hanging out here.

For me, this whole thing happens gradually…and I don’t realize it’s happening again until I find myself frustrated when my children are interrupting me – What on earth? THEY are the reason I am currently at home. They are NOT interrupting me. Oftentimes, the task that is causing me to say “Wait a second.” or “Hold on.” or “Just a minute.” or “Wait ’til Mommy’s done.” is actually what’s doing the interrupting – stealing my opportunity to pour in to my children.

It’s a tough balance. While I feel it’s important for children to learn patience and gain an understanding that they can’t always have what they want when they want it, I also want their lives to be impacted in a positive way by the days we spend together at home. It saddens me to think about how many times I’ve communicated to them that something else – maybe a home project…or a phone call…or a hobby of mine – was more important to me than they are. It breaks my heart to consider the ways I have allowed my emotions or my to-do list to creep in and rob me of joyful, peaceful moments with my kids.

We don’t mean for this happen, but it does…

Motherhood is difficult…there are diapers and messes and sibling fights and homework…but with the right perspective of what Christ has called us to, we can handle even those things with a sense of joy and peace.

Oh, how I wish I could master how to do this everyday! I think we’re all a work in progress, don’t you think?

Have you ever found yourself realizing that something – maybe something I’ve mentioned above…maybe something else…is stealing your motherhood from you?

Satan wants nothing more than for us to give away our motherhood.

Do you hear me? He wants to do everything he can to pull us away from being a mom and toward other things. He’ll snatch motherhood away from us any way he can get it – through guilt, fear, anger, frustration, discontentment, distraction – It makes no difference to him! All he wants is for us to wake up one day and realize that while our children were in our home, he had been successful in controlling our mind…and emotions…and priorities.

Will you join me in looking him dead in the eye and saying: Not in this house!

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like to read This may be why your kids are getting on your nerves…

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2 Comments

  1. Oh, how well said, over a difficult and honest struggle! I’ve been dealing with this myself and just wrote about it this week as well, on my blog! It is a gradual but honest struggle, and thank you for the reminder that I’m not alone in this. I thank God daily for the precious gift that is my children, and I need to show them how precious they are.

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