If you’re a part of our adoption email community, you recently received an email inviting you to pray with us.
Just a few weeks ago, we received an email from our Home Study Agency here in the Carolinas. They were inviting us to sign on with them to be one of their waiting families.
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They explained that they had seen an increase in mothers here in the Carolinas who were wanting to make an adoption plan for their baby, and they felt like we would be a good fit for their agency.
We began praying about this opportunity that had actually been a closed door for over two years now – talking with them, completing some additional paperwork, etc.
In February, we had switched to a new consultant group, and while we had been grateful to know that with them, our profile was actually getting into the hands of expectant moms (unlike in our previous experience), we began to feel like transitioning to working with our Home Study Agency was going to be a good decision for our family.
As we were in the final conversations about this transition, we received a case from our consultant.
Baby boy due in Georgia next month – and we said YES to presenting.
If you have been following along with our journey, you know we have said YES to presenting now over 80 times.
Have we been presented that many times? We know now that no, 80+ moms haven’t held our profile in their hands. We believe only a small fraction of those moms ever saw our smiling faces and the hopeful words we had written to her…
…but we knew this mom would.
Last Monday, she saw our profile and fell in love.
She immediately wanted to Zoom – and so we did – and on that very call, she told us: She chose us!
We told the kids.
We called our parents.
We texted our closest friends.
We were all in total shock – excited, but completely shocked.
We couldn’t believe it was actually happening – after all this time!
We found out she wanted to chat again the next day, and of course we made that happen.
Together, we all began to make plans.
That evening, I took the girls out to pick out new clothes for their baby brother.
He had a stack of freshly laundered clothes – He was going to be arriving soon.
There was a name in the works – we just couldn’t quite settle on his middle name.
But friends, there were also some concerns.
David and I began to have questions about new information we were finding out.
We were restless – not sleeping well…One day, I even forgot to eat lunch – if you know me, that’s not me…not ever.
We were struggling…
…and without going into too much detail, we were feeling frustrated, like our concerns were not being taken seriously by the people who were supposed to be in our corner.
We finally convinced them to ask the expectant mom about one specific concern we had, and it was in this moment when she got very upset and, from what we understand, called the adoption off right there and there.
Late Wednesday night, we received a call letting us know “It was over.”
Our first response was RELIEF! I can not tell you the immediate relief we both felt.
You see, I had JUST been in my youngest son’s bedroom praying with him – and I had specifically asked for God’s protection over our family…and moments later, we received a phone call that we believe was an answer to that prayer.
The last time I so tangibly felt the protection of the Lord on my life was when my brother and I were in a car accident when I was college – A semi got tangled up with my little four-door sedan, and we both walked away untouched.
I know I have since had many moments of His hand working in my story, but I have no words for how much I sensed God’s protection over our family after we received this phone call.
Our oldest son was out of town, but our youngest son got to see how answered prayer can sometimes look way different than you might think it’s going to look.
Friends, this situation was not what God had for us, and that had become very clear to us…but I dreaded the morning.
I was going to have to go into my little girls’ bedroom and tell them that this new baby brother was not going to be arriving as we had thought.
They had known that this was a possibility, but to have to tell them still felt hard.
That morning, I went in and explained to them that things had changed. I was most worried about my youngest daughter.
“I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and fortress: my God; in Him will I trust.”
She had recently been memorizing Psalm 91:2, and these words were what she said to me in a moment when I feared she might cry…and she’s been okay.
For the next few days, we found ourselves walking in the most gigantic sigh of relief you can imagine.
We have truly felt God’s peace in this situation, and our hearts have been FULL of gratitude for how obviously He cares for us.
Over the weekend, we did decide to go ahead and close out our contract with the consulting group we joined in February.
So at the moment, we are not currently working with any consultants, receiving cases in our inbox, presenting to expectant moms, etc.
There is still our home study agency we may consider working with in the future – but at the moment, we have stepped off this rollercoaster.
We need some time.
There will always be extra chairs at our table and plenty of room in our hearts.
This door will remain open if God places a situation before us – but over the last 2.5 years, he closed door after door after door, and we are going to take some time to pray about ways we can use our time, energy, and money to meet the tangible needs of people right in front of us – right now.
When supply chain issues seemed to be impacting things like diapers, wipes, etc. we purchased these kinds of items so we wouldn’t find ourselves without them if God were to place a baby in our home.
In the coming days, we plan to deliver these items (along with a number of other items that have been gifted to us) to a local pregnancy center. Our kids will be involved in this drop-off and then we plan to grab some cookies and celebrate together.
No matter what, we will CHOOSE JOY and celebrate God’s goodness to us.
As the initial relief has waned a bit, I’m struggling.
The other night, I woke up crying – And as I’ve typed this, I’ve had tears.
My mama’s heart wanted so badly to adopt a child/children.
Our kids were so excited about another sibling.
And maybe God isn’t saying No.
Maybe He’s just saying Not Yet.
We’re not sure…
…both answers feel really hard right now…
…but we want His story – nothing different than His story.
So we will continue to trust and Choose Joy at every turn.
This won’t be the first time I’ve eaten chocolate chip cookies with tears in my eyes – the salt actually adds a nice little extra flavor to them.
Thank you for loving us and praying for us along this journey.
This is our last adoption update for now – God, we trust You.